Are you comfortably numb?

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Long time no blog...

I know I haven't posted on here for ages and I suppose I've missed it. If the truth be told I haven't really been in the mood, partly because life is mad and partly because I've been a bit down recently.

My birthday was really good though, I was very tired on the day but managed to get in the mood for the evening, which was much fun, and involved much dancing and hilarity in the form of a caption competition with pictures of me from years gone by.

To be honest at the moment I am feeling low as I said. I feel overwhelmed by having to organise everything about living on our own. Because I'm working so many hours waitressing (although I am desperately trying to cut down... we're so understaffed at the moment they're not having it though) I don't really have enough time to do all the household stuff, and even when Tom does it I have to ask him, thus I feel the responsibility is all mine, although he is very helpful when asked. It's also very lonely like this. Especially after living in a house with 7 people in, when there's just two of you and one is often out, it feels like there's no one to offload onto. And I know there are loads of people I can call to talk, but I don't have time, because I'm so busy.

I also feel like I don't really know what I'm doing here. Although my training is good it's only one day a week and I'm beginning to think why am I taking a gap year at all? Especially when they don't even know if it's a good idea for me to actually start counselling when I finish the training. I know it will be a valuable experience and that I will mature with us living on our own yadda yadda, but I feel a bit lost. Especially as for the first time in my entire life I have next to no intellectual stimulation, which is very weird.

I just so want to cut down on my shifts but I can't!!!! If only my boss actually applied to job applications or advertised for staff!!!!

Also I feel quite distant from God recently, even when I'm praying or reading the Bible... I don't know why. Life just feels weird.

Well on that depressing note, I will leave you. Off for another split and kids' club. You know how it is...

Prayers would be appreciated.

Bec

4 Comments:

  • Painful to read that is.

    You know i've been through all that, not only once, right? It happens that it comes and goes, and not only with the changing of the facts.

    If it's prayers that you need, and that I can offer, I'll surely do it, with pleasure. I'll pray so you can get along with the situation at work and, mainly, figure out what's the point of being in a gap year, and what can you do with that time off.

    I hope you keep a healthy mental distance from work, since it's been stressing you. Trust Him, e coloque seus desejos, preocupações e necessidades a cuidado dEle. A seu tempo, Ele te atenderá.

    I know how it feels to be too busy to look after your friends, even when needy. I'll pray so that they come after you.

    Love ya, you know that.

    Bye for now. xx

    By Blogger Juxt, at 8:29 pm  

  • muito obrigada!! vou escrever outra mensagem agora porque as coisas melhoraram bastante... mas thank you for commenting because no one does on my blog!!!

    By Blogger Bec, at 11:41 pm  

  • Sorry it's tough for you at the moment, we're a bit far away to help but we will pray for all four of you Kings.

    By Blogger Anne, at 10:08 am  

  • thanks anne, tis much appreciated :)

    By Blogger Bec, at 6:53 pm  

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