Are you comfortably numb?

Friday, September 10, 2004

Ramblings of a developing insomniac

Not sleeping well is bad. But not sleeping well when you are bone tired and have no reason not to sleep very well - well, that's just downright frustrating. Frustrating partly because your own being is miscommunicating. You would think that your muscles might have told your brain that you need to sleep now, you need rest, you need to stop being conscious and enter into the land of nod. But the brain appears to be utterly oblivious to this fact. Either that, or there is an ongoing feud between body and mind and it's flared up again. Body: "Oh just let me get some rest! I've been running around all day at your beck and call!" Mind: "I'd have left you years ago if it weren't for the central nervous system!" Body: "Oh, and then what would you do? Where would you go when you needed an intermediate neurone to tell you what was going on? Hmm?" Mind: "I'm not listening to you la la la la la la...I'm just going to lie here and think all night long, and you can't stop me, haha!" Honestly.

On an entirely different subject, one thing that's struck me in the last few days is this use of the phrase, 'I'm not being funny'. It definitely confuses me. I keep hearing it being used in a context in which the words, 'don't get annoyed with me even though I'm being rude and complaining about something, because I think I'm better than you' would fit more appropriately. For example, young customers at work (generally of the pseudo-pikey variety, you know the type, bloke with at least one ring, girl with 16 layers of foundation and lipgloss on with peroxide hair, fake tan and low cut top, probably wearing white shoes), keep saying it when they want to complain about stupid things. "I'm not being funny but I want a new drink/meal/Vauxhall Nova/mobile'". Perhaps Hitler said it to the Jews, "I'm not being funny, but I think your entire ethnic group is subhuman and should be exterminated." Or Thatcher with the miners: "I'm not being funny, but I'm just going to take away your collective voice and destroy your life as you know it, is that ok?" Well of course it's okay Maggie, you used the magic phrase! You see as long as you tell people beforehand that you're not being funny, they'll bite whatever bullet you fire in their direction. Apparently. You see otherwise they might have got the idea that you WERE being funny and all of a sudden got terribly upset, but as long as you tell them that you're not it's all okay! People now say it in personal contexts too, "I'm not being funny but I don't like you and think you have the personality of a maggot-turned-accountant". No, you're not being funny. If you were being funny you would be saying something comical and amusing, to make people laugh. I think it is perfectly obvious that by being a rude and arrogant person you're not being funny at all. Sometimes I feel like saying something along these lines but then I'D probably have to start my sentence with "I'm not being funny but" in order to communicate with them and then I'd be saying "I'm not being funny but of course you're not being funny", which would just sound stupid. And don't even get me started on "No offence but..." which of course is code for "Don't get annoyed with me, even though I'm now going to offend you".

Anyway. In proper news, my day yesterday was not so bad. I got through it all, even doing 2 sections at once on an extremely busy night (paid off in tips though, woohoo), until the end of the evening, when I was absolutely shattered and a table came in to order at just before 10. Anyway the woman ended up making me cry she was so rude! The first time a customer's ever made me cry. It is just remarkable how wide the spectrum is: some customers could not be lovelier and make you want to do the job forever, whereas others, like last night, make you want to carry out a combination of sobbing and hitting them, and make you want to jack the job in right there. However, for now the nice ones have the upper hand.

I've just thought of loads more things to write about but I think I'll stop there, don't want to sap the mind and all that.

See you soon

Bec x


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